Fuckin RollerCoaster

I want the world to slow down. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. Do I want to settle down? Do I want a family? Do I want to stay in Indiana? What is my career going to be?

Worry Worry Worry

All over me like a thick peanut butter mess that I can't wipe off.

I don't want to get out of college yet. I don't feel prepared. I'm not thinking like a teacher. I'm still thinking like a student. And not a very good student by the way.

I'm a slacker. I'm not using my time wisely. I'm hanging out with my boyfriend all the time because he helps keep me sane but then I get behind in work and I get more insane.

It's a fuckin rollercoaster that I can't get off of because this lap bar is so damn tight.

(slow down)
(pray)
(deep breaths)
(it'll be alright)

I don't have to know what I'm going to do with my life, but so often I want to know and it scares me that I don't.

Life thus far

You know this semester has been so hectic lately. I can't believe that I'm taking 5 English classes. Yes, 5 English classes! What the fuck was I thinking.....

I'm writing down so much stuff in my planner that I can't even keep up with it all.

My profs are sending me all sorts of emails with stuff that's due for next class. At first I thought this was great cuz I didn't necessarily have to keep track of stuff. But hell I just keep dropping the ball all over the place.

And don't give me this shit of, "oh you're crying about this, but I bet it's not that bad" or "I think you need to grow up and stop complaining cuz you're in college and this is what it's like for everyone"

Shut the hell up!

I'll say what I want and if you think I'm being such a nancy about it, here's a boot that can go right up your ass.

If you don't think that.....
Well then thank you for sympathizing.

Just so you know I have this tendency to get defensive because that's how I've had to grown up with my siblings. It's just at the forefront of my mind to protect myself from others and their opinions.

Not that I'm apologizing for anything.
This is just so you know.

But yea past the whole defensive rant that just kinda burst forth, which I guess I could go back and delete so that no one has to know that part about me, but fuck it.

Classes are hectic, lots of stuff going on, lots of papers being written, lots of books being read.
I'm not seeing my friends as often as I'd like cuz to be frank I use my breaks during the day to do homework and in the evening I'm doing more homework.

And the weekends I spend with my beaux :) <3
Tell you what I hardly get a chance to see him at all during the week so it's great to have the weekends together to go get groceries, watch a couple movies, or go into the studios and work on our projects together.

It's just hard finding time for everyone and I feel like I'm dropping the ball on that too.



haha well maybe not necessarily in that sense
more like....



in the more metaphorical sense

But yea college. Gotta get my shit together cuz I'm gonna be here for another 2 years.

Yea super senior!

Movement

Random thought:

I like movement

Like....

I really love spinning poi because it gives me a zen feel.

the movement of my arms going around my body
my body spinning in time with the poi

poetry

right there

But then I got to talking to my new gal pal, Ray, about how much I liked compressed charcoal.

I like how you can move the charcoal around on the paper....it's gets all over your fingers and under your nails, which I like too

*SIDENOTE*
I feel like if I don't get charcoal, paint, or whatever on me while I'm working I'm not doing it right. Fyi

Anywho, I like compressed charcoal.

And now I'm sitting here watching Evan paint and I'm just like,
"Wow, I really like the way that just moves across the canvas...."

I don't know what it is about movement...

I just like the feel of it ya know?

And I guess that can transfer to why I like the ocean and I'm continuously drawn to it....

hmm....

Lots of Names!

Oh my good golly gracious
Mother Teresa
Bill Nye the science guy
AND
Benjamin Franklin

What do all of these people have in common????

I have absolutely no idea.....

As soon as you find out let me know.

Aqua Pets!

I want an aqua pet!!!
They are so cute!!!

Will someone buy me this one???


I'll love you forever and ever and ever!!!
or at least until my attention span runs out and then I just.......

href="http://www.newaquapets.com/?gclid=CKPi8qTqmagCFUPf4AodVnaWDA">

Update

1.) Alright so I was freaking out about my debate that I had to give this morning.

But it went well.

Whew!

I think we presented our argument well enough, it could have been better, and I think that the affirmative team definitely won.
But hey we did the best we could.

2.) My tonsils are currently the size of ping pong balls. I don't know why. They just swelled up last night.

And yea it was fun trying to give a speech like that....but whatever....

It's uncomfortable trying to eat :/

3.) I just got another moleskin notebook!

I love them so much....


I have my vine journal for lengthy entries, my red journal for random thoughts and poems, my lil red moleskin sketchbook for sketches (duh) and now this one.

I have no idea what to use it for but whatever. I'll find a use for it :P

4.) I just got the call saying that I'm assured my summer job at Homecrest, a cabinet making factory back home in Goshen.

Woot! Woot!


I'm gonna be back working in the same place I was last summer.

What I loved was that Kerri said that Bob, my supervisor, was glad to have me working for him again :)

It feels good when others appreciate your hard work :)

5.) I have an 8 page paper, a video project, another debate, and numerous art projects due in the next 2 weeks.

Funnnn

But yea I'll probably talk (whine) more about those as time progresses.

Dip!

Messin with Meeko

Hey hey just kinda passing the time here. Let's see what is something that I could talk about....
Well I'm noticing that as I'm typing this the keys are making a satisfying clacking noise.
I'm currently using my lovely roomie's laptop, Meeko.

Yes, like the raccoon in Pocahontas :P

She's a gunna be takin Athos home with her.
I dunno why I said it like that.

Anyway,she's taking Athos home this weekend so that her and her momma can put powerpoint on him cuz it's not working for me :/
It won't even launch.

It's like Oh Hey!!!

Bye.

Talk about rude right?

So hopefully after this weekend I'll be able to use it again.

Cross your fingers!
Or if you're German, hold your thumbs!

That's literally what it is!
Isn't that sweet??

Well I thought so......

Mkay back to messing doing nothing important

Random Rant

My hair is a great length to flip......
Random thought yea, but there it is.
I feel like this entry is going to be random...
Are you ready for this?
Are you?
You sure?
Ok.
Good for you.
I'd give you a high five but this is merely text so I am without the capability to give you said high five.
Does high five have a dash in it?
What's that word?....Hyphenated.
Is high five hyphenated?
It might be...
Ok so take two.
I'd give you a high-five but this is merely text so I am without the capability to give you said high-five.
Better?
I'm asking a lot of questions.
And getting no answers.
But that's ok whatever no big deal that's fine seriously it's ok
IT'S OK!
I don't know why I just yelled at you.
That was very rude of me.
I'm sorry.
(hug)
Hugs are magical...
Like my grandma's toast!!!
Have I talked about my grandma's toast??
I'm sure I have.
Mmmmm toast.
Ohp class is over.

Tweet Tweet Twit Twitter

So yea I've got a twitter now and my bestie said today that I was obsessed. I would say.....nah? Not so much. It's just that it's fun ya know?

The only reason I got it in the first place was because
1.) I had the app free on my smarty phony phone
2.) I wanted to follow Craig Ferguson :)

Well then it's just developed since then.

I'm following my friends from high school and friends from college. People post more of their thoughts on twitter it seems to me than they do on facebook.

Facebook it seems to me is just for the "important" stuff.

Pfft

Well with that in mind let's just skee daddle on over to this thought:
I synced my twitter with my facebook.

Now this might annoy some people, maybe not, frankly I don't care.
If I'm cluttering your home page or whatever just you know hid my stuff.

Cuz the thing is that I want people to see my RanDoMOsiTY

I think that I'm a funny person.
I'm not being all conceited or anything.
This has been based on past experiences and this and that and whatnot be-hat-ya.

So logically I want as many people to see as possible.

By having it synced on facebook more people get to comment and "like" my posts rather than people who just follow me on twitter.
And there are some random people that I don't know who are following me now........weird........

But yea maybe deep deep deep deep down I'm just really insecure and I need the reassurance from other individuals....

Hmm that actually seems rather plausible if you look at it from a negative perspective.
From the positive perspective: I might just want to make others laughs.

Yea I like that idea better :)

By the way if you wanted to follow me on twitter the url is href="http://twitter.com/#!/Banterful_Quips">

Falishnu

I recently had to fill in a capcha in order to post a comment and the word that was presented was "falishnu".

Now this struck my fancy because this actually sounds like it could be a word. So that got me to thinking, "Well why not make it a word? Shakespeare did it. This is the English language we can pretty much do whatever we want."

Therefore, "falishnu" now means 'to enjoy the day with a smile'

I'm influenced by the weather can you tell? ;)

This also reminds me of when I went on a leadership conference (IRHOC) at Purdue. We were driving through Purdue's campus and I saw a building with the letters PEFCU on it. Now actually when I saw it I thought that it said PERFCU. Almost the same I know. But then Brandon, Stephanie, and I decided that PERFCU would mean 'to be in a heightened state of happiness' and we were saying that all weekend :)



Go forth and falishnu!

Insomnia hits Wa Bam!

You have to click TV before you can turn down the volume!!!
That makes so much more sense.

Right...so I'm staying with my older brother in his apartment and you have to use the xbox controller to make stuff work.

Alright I got that down, but it doesn't control the volume.

Predator?? Wtf mate?

There's a promo for a movie....wait for it....
Yes, I'm typing this as I'm wathcin is....there it is Aliens vs. Predator Requiem

Hmm

So I'm suffering from a bit of insomnia right now....I was watching Braveheart and crying at the same time.

Actually the two occurrences were unrelated...

But I did become very sad when the horses were stabbed with spears. Yea I'm more worried about the horses than the men.

So I think that because I was not using my braincells whilst watching the movie, my brain is now trying to function in a somewhat heightened state of hustle.

So since my mind is in a heightened state of hustle I decided to move the couches around so that I could spin my poi. Course I wasn't very good. I managed to hit myself square in the face and knock my glasses off.

Yet they did not break as I would have liked. Yes, I want my glasses to break. They're only really held together with a bit of rubber cement on a screw and the lens by luck. Sheer luck.

Hmm. I can't really concentrate. Even right now I'm having to backspace all the time cuz I keep messing up.

This si wath its lok s liek when i'n typing reaslly fast and now t gebine able to bocnentrate.

Bad huh.

So I popped in Hitman

Well would you look at that. The chick from Hitman was also in Braveheart.

Sophie Marceau


Let's start the movie shall we?
Answer: We shall

Frostbit Fingers

Yesterday I was just sitting at our dining room table with my laptop and I had the sudden impulse.

I wanted to go take some pictures :)

So I said to my lil sis, "Hey Cara let's go take some picture!"
And she was like, "But I'm eating my bugles..."
So I was like, "Come on Cara. Let's go take some pictures!"
And she was like, "Fine..."

We got on our boots and dipped out the front door into the frigid air.

BURR!

And I'd forgotten my gloves....

Yes, I could have dipped back inside. No, I chose not to.

Anywho, we took a bunch of pictures with our kitties.


Then we were running around our house taking pics.


We ran to the back of our house.


And finally we took pics with our horses.

Here Cara is with her horse, Mac


And here's our horse Sis giving me a kiss.


Plus we took some random pics :P




I love my lil sis :)
We rock.

Dip Dip!

Good Golly Gracious and Mother Teresa

So I'm staring at my Rolos on the edge of my desk. I just ate like 7 of them and there's only 3? left. I don't know. I don't have x-ray vision.

My 220 prof. is off ranting again. My mind is wandering.

I had my EdMul class just before this and it was my last class and I'm going to miss that class. Wow....I just said class like 3 times.

3 is a good number.

I am feeling the need to differentiate all of my sentences from one another. Another. One another?

Yes.

3 is a good number.

I don't know why I came back to that. Anywho, so yea.

I was up late last night helping my friend Corey work on his website thing. He had to make photoshop pieces and he needed "artistic assistance." So I was helping him for an hour. Then I went to work on my papers. Did some of my papers. He came back for more help. I helped him. I finished working on my papers. My other friend Evan wanted to see me so I dipped. But then Corey came up later.....So that was a fun evening.

I went to bed at like 4:30
Woke up at 7:30 to print something off for my EdMul class this morning.
Then I went back to "sleep" and woke up at 9.

I say "sleep" because it was a very fitful sleep. I wasn't in the REM state. I was just like on the surface. Just touching the mirrored image of sleep. Not quite immersing myself.

So now I'm here....
Ranting.....
Not paying attention to Mai Kuha whom I greatly dislike....

I am SO ready for this class to be over and done with!
Like seriously.....it sucks!

Oh my. She's changing it up. There's a video playing on the projection. Is it interesting? Gimme a sec...............nope.

Back to my rant.

Oh! So fun little tid bit, morsel if you will. The title of this very special blog post is in honor of my endeavor to try to stop swearing as much. I swear more than I would like. I don't have a sailor mouth persay... but I do tend to let it slip in certain circumstances. Anywho, I am replacing swear words with sayings like "good golly gracious", "mother teresa", "garfunkle" and other random words that come to mind.

I'm gonna eat another Rolo.

I am horrible with titles

So I'm not gonna lie to you (whoever you might be) I'm a bit anxious about writing this blog. I think it's my underlining fear of rejection. But hey let's just get over that for the time being and try to write a blog or two. Who knows maybe I'll write on a regular basis. I have no idea.

So I want you (again whoever you might be) to know that I am a very random person. I don't have ADD or ADHD or whatever but I do jump from subject to subject. This is just a disclaimer for possible blogs to come: I will not edit (much) of what I'm thinking. I find that it's more interesting if I just write whatever I'm thinking of. That's how some of my best poems have come out. And hey you know maybe I'll post a poem on here.

Idk. We'll see. I like writing in these choppy sentences. It helps. Idk. Reminds me of Ted DekKer. If you don't know who he is look him up on wikipedia or something. He is an AMAZING! Christian writer. And it's not like "Oh I'm Christian and I'm going to slam this in your face." No, it's more like "Hey here's a fricken amazing story that has a theme dealing with some Christian aspect." It's nifty.

I love the word nifty.

I also like writing in these sorts of lines/paragraphs/stanzas whatever-be-hat-cha

Yes, I just said that.

Alright so this has just been a small morsel of what might, could, probably, possibly, most likely happen in my blog posts to come.

If you like my blogs let me know. Yay positive feedback!
If not.....well please don't rain on my parade. I don't own an umbrella......